Frustration

A plan is one thing, I'm used to making plans, intricate plans mapping out the smallest details, making numerous calculations to come up with the right designs... but I've never actually built something on this scale, So that in and of itself was difficult. As the wood was all scrap wood, some pieces did not fit together perfectly and so plans were thrown off and I was forced to adjust time after time. 

The biggest wall I hit was at the time when the base was finished. I didn't know how to proceed, and that was frustrating, but what really impeded my progress was a sudden thought: I just used a lot of very solid pieces of wood to make a sculpture that represents rebirth, reuse, finding function in a different form. Given all the wood I've used and have been using was being trashed, was in the studio trash, the street, dumpsters, etc, but they are almost all still very strong pieces. I stopped for days. At the end of August I wrote the following: 

"I am having trouble with the fact that the message I want to convey through this sculpture is reuse and the beauty of not only the sculpture but of that feeling of again finding use, that enormous rush that comes with it. El Anatsui used some wood but mostly trash... bottle caps, can caps, wrappers... These things are harder to upcycle / reuse and more often than not end up in trash piles, but wood, these beautiful pieces of wood... Though everything I'm finding so far has been laying in the streets or about to be thrown away, even if no one else would use the pieces, am I using them well? These scraps could be reworked into beautiful FUNCTIONAL furniture for sure. The hand would represent the ultimate use and a higher and broad function where as a table would be just that and that specific function, but would actually BE USED. This sculpture would only represent use, remind us of utility, make us MAYBE think of all we waste otherwise and MAYBE be a message to reuse what resources we have in some way... If my message was not usefulnesss and a 'rebirth' then it would be easy to build. This would be my idea and these would be my materials. But with the message the idea seems silly and contradictory."